Dear my inner cycle

After my last school vacation, I buried myself with tons of books and manga. I, suddenly, would like to shut myself out from the world for awhile.  (Well, I still check through my SNS everyday haha! but I don’t really follow any news or drama so crazy as before). Not like I don’t want to know what happened here or there, it’s just I got my mood to dig more in deep side of human. It turned out that I escaped back to my books. Getting to understand human from other way. (Yes, one of those books is Norwegian Wood by Murakami because I want to dig more to human mind. It caused my friend who kept asking for the innocent me that’s he thought already gone somewhere forever.)

In the end, book can cover some. And the thing I got back from indulging myself with literature is my power of concentration which I had lost it somewhere long time ago.

Until the time comes, thanks to my friend helping remind me that I left my blog for long time already.

Updating blog, though it’s one of my pleasure to do, turns to be hard when you feel like your life gets not that much interesting story as before. I didn’t get to travel to some new places, I didn’t get to have exciting trip, I didn’t get to meet much new people. During last vacation, I organized to meet a lot of friends, my professors. Some I consider them far from just normal acquaintances. They are just alike my sister, my brother. Well, I even call one of my friends as another mom! haha

After that, these days, other than books (I rarely study Korean, honestly haha), I spend my time with the group of my closed friends. We cook, we eat, we talk. And yes, we get to laugh a lot because of these gatherings. I have no idea about the other but me, myself, I’m getting to be more calm and stable with myself. I feel so warm deep inside my heart after every dinner we had together and I always get nice, tight sleep by those nights.

Quite strange, but surrounding myself with people I love and feel comfortable with turns to be my current pleasure. This does surprise me somehow. Since normally,  I’m that type of persons who’s super easy to get bored. I prefer new adventure or trip to somewhere rather than daily routine.

Or else, human needs their own circle to keep their battery charged. No matters how many adventurous or interesting stories you have experienced, it doesn’t really mean that much if you have no one you would like to share it with. I might get to travel a lot and experience so much on this world. Yet, if I have to keep all of these experiences to myself, my happiness couldn’t lead up to that level.

The level that could only be reached by sharing with someone.

Besides sharing your happiness with someone, it’s also with whom you share it with. I consider myself for socialized side as onion. (Sound wrong for some reason, isn’t it?) As I said, I’m super easy to get bored. I, thus, bring myself to experience new things. Extra activities in school, exchange program, volunteer activities. All of these got me tons of acquaintances whose some become to be friends, closed friends, and best friends.

When you get to know new people, you learn about them by every factor. Their first impression, their conversation, their interest, their aura you feel. Getting to talk and stay with them a bit more, you’ll learn where to place them in your life.

That’s the way I create my onion. It’s the zone of people around myself. Outer cycle, middle one, and inner one. The inner you are, the more I know they can accept the true me. I can freely be myself with these people. I know that it’s safe and sound enough for them to be there. Mostly these people are always the one whom I would like to share my stories with. In the other way, they always turn to be there when I need someone.

I’m always grateful for having them in my life. But sometimes, I also get to ignore some from my inner circle which the feeling of being ignored turn to hurt me in the same way. Once, I was obsessed, thinking too much on this, considering and blaming myself as those who overlooks the friendship and love my inner circle give to me. Talking with myself for awhile, I patted my shoulder, complementing myself for at least feeling hurtful by this and telling myself to try paying attention and caring a bit more to my inner circle. I’m not that good with it now, still I’m trying my best.

 

Turn out this blog is super long with only the text haha!

I promised to myself to read more and write more. Hope I still can keep this promise to myself.

Until next time. (Not as long as last time, I promise)

 

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(I wonder if the owners of these feet still remember where they were taken and whose they are haha!)

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2 thoughts on “Dear my inner cycle

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