Follow your passion

Lots of people asked my mom when I chose my major first time.

How come you let your daughter majoring in sociology?

Her answer always fascinates them. She comes up with her research on job vacancy, requiring sociology major. But beyond that, it’s because she believes and puts her faith in my passion.

She believes if I get to do what I love, I will do it well.

And yes, both of us never imagine life can come this far, by following my passion.

 

There’s so many times I feel tired, discouraged, or even considering giving up.

Especially after the period of Master’s degree had started.

Studying in third language is harder than I have imagined.

I compare myself doing my course in third language with other people who, at least in my opinion, get to do it in English. There’s so many times I imagined myself changing major to anything that’s taught in English or whatsoever.

Ended up, I really cannot imagine myself doing other major. I already fell for my major, it’s my passion since the beginning.

Though on the way I feel exhausted, I find out that it’s too hard, I still enjoy knowing new things and expanding myself in this major.

Well, maybe it’s the same reason as my mom had said before.

Follow your passion and you will find your own way.

 

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Another lesson learned

I just came back from cinema with my roommate. We went out together for burger as dinner and late evening movie (after the whole day of healthy brunch, studying and workout, so I assume by myself that I deserve it hahaa).

Our movie tonight was ‘What happened to Monday’.

I will not write the review for the movie. Yet I still will say it’s a good movie. You will get to see not only normal action, crime, or thriller movie. It’s much more than that. And I’ll talk about what I got to learn from this movie.

 

Somehow our problem is not that big. Well, by the time we’re facing our hardship or problem, surely it’s the big obstacle. We feel exhausted and feel like it’s hard to get through it. The more you look, the further way to go. No wonder why we always feel discouraged and down when we are in trouble, which we think got no solution.

Yet when you are not so panicked and start to think properly, you will realize that there will always be way to deal with it. Easy or hard. Fast or slow. You just need time to think and do it. Don’t think too much if it’s too late because better than never and the earliest you can start doing something is by now.

Seize this moment. Neither the past or future. It’s only now. Your present is what you have and what means the most.

Moreover, your problem is not the end of the world. The world still exists though you fail. You might not be good enough. But by the time when you are ready, you’ll get through it in some way.

There is so much more people in the world who are now facing harder, worse problems that you’d never imagined. Yet most of them just try their best to deal with it. So you too will just try to deal with it. Find your own way and try. And well, don’t give up.

 

I guess this is quite a lot for only lesson I learned from one movie.

Have a nice weekend. I hope I’ll be able to come up with new entry soon.

 

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Recharge

I finished registering my courses for this coming semester.

Right after that I went on trip with my friends for Chinese New Year. Though it’s time for people to travel, most of the shops or even big malls were all closed during this holiday.

I was overwhelmed in my own ocean of thought and worriness.

I’m worried about my past, my present and my future. Everyone keeps saying studying is easier than working. Yet deep inside I do feel that everybody got our own hardship to get through and it’s incomparable.

I promised to myself to live my life happier. I would like to work harder for my study but I want to enjoy my free time with the things I love to do. Reading, writing, photography, and traveling.

I do need to learn how to make balance with my work-life balance. Together with my health, physically and mentally.

I need to learn how to focus and concentrate more on my own business and leave the others’ as it’s orhers ’. Learning to surround myself with positive vibes and learning how to protect myself from negative ones are also necessary. This, I guess, will be my way to live for this coming semester.

I do hope this will work and I’d like to see the result by the end of this semester.

Mom’s monkey

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January does flies so fast.

I spent my first month of 2018 in Thailand with my family and friends. It is quite fulfilling after one year and half away from home.

Now I’m back in Korea with my laptop (haha) ready to work and well update new entries for this coming year.

 

My first entry of this year is my photo collection.

My mom is kindergarten teacher in one province, not that far from Bangkok. I had been visiting her in her school for a week. And here is what I have got during the time there.

My friend said the tone is so warm. And when I’m back in Korea, it was snowing on the third day after arriving. So, here to warm up my day a bit.

But because they are super active, super naughty yet super cute, I cannot find any other better title for this collection. Except this hahaa

Dear 2017,

The end of 2016, I had promised to myself that I’ll try to scope down my interest and indulge myself with the things I love more than before.

Almost one year ago, I was so sleepy (well the New Year Eve I was counting down with my friends at Gwanganli beach but still had to wake up at 5am in the morning) and freezing while holding my maknae’ tripod, which was set with my camera to capture the first sunlight of 2017 on Haeundae Beach in Busan. Fortunately, this year I’m flying back home after continuously staying in Korea for one and almost half of the year. Guess my first sunlight of 2018 will be at the beach again yet in tropical country which is way more warmer than last time.

The more I have lived my life, the more I learn that life is like a big surprise, you might expect some peaceful, busy, or another ordinary year will come and just go. But as Forrest Gump said, life is like a box of chocolate. You would never know what will happen.

 

Most of the time, back in Daejeon, I spent it with my friends. One thing sociology teaches me (again) is to observe people quietly. I have learned that the hard thing of getting to know new people is not really about racial, cultural or religious difference. But the hardest thing to accept the others is the difference on personality and attitude. I have learned through my experience during one year in Daejeon that I was always surrounded by the ones who are similar to me, especially in term of personality and attitude. With that, I didn’t really see how diverse this world could be.

But during one year there, I have seen more diversity of people than before. This teaches me to be more open-minded (well it’s hard. I already realize it hahaa before I thought that to embrace the diversity it’s super easy. But the reality kicked me hard and I’ve learned the truth), calmer and learn how to accept the real difference of the people.

 

I spent eight more months after New Year in Daejeon, my middle of nowhere. Daejeon, though at first I was complaining with the idea of going back to stay there during the language course, has become my comfort zone in Korea. I learn how to feel more and more related with the places. Everywhere in Daejeon seems familiar, and it does give me the feeling of another home.

I feel like I belong to the place, where people would like to leave or run away from it. Though one month before leaving, I was trying my best to seize every moment. Still, I felt like it’s not enough and I was a bit scared to leave this place. On the day I left Daejeon, while strolling my huge luggage on the train heading to Seoul, I realized that since the beginning, Korea in my memory, is actually Daejeon, not other place.

First few nights in new place was a bit hard. I did feel empty inside. But new friends and the busy schedule did help me a lot to get through the emptiness.

 

2017 is the year I officially start studying again. After escaping the reality for one year. I was anxious during the first month of this semester. First semester of Master’s degree wasn’t easy. (Well, I didn’t expect it to be easy anyway). Yet, it turns out to be bit harder than I had expected.Being too panic and also putting too much pressure on myself affect me in bad way. Yet thanks to the existence of my best inner circle, I’ve survived and didn’t give up during those hard times. (I love all of you sooo much <3. Hope you know who you are hahaa).

During this first semester, I have learned to give myself more time and learned how to calm my anxiety down. I learn how to be more kind with myself, how to love myself more in the right and how importance work-life balance is. (Well, study-life balance in my case). And also I start to be happier than before.

Master’s degree life is still hard and tough. But with strong inner power, I hope everything will flow smoothly enough.

 

Last but not least, this year, I did try to be smarter with all kind of relationship. I always messed up the relationship with people all around me, starting from my family until my friends. Not sure if I’m doing well enough for now, at least I know that I’m getting better with it than before.

 

Well, 2017 is another big year. Not easy, not too hard. And I’m looking forward for new year with new adventure.

See you so soon, 2018!

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(This photo was my first sunlight of 2017 at Haeundae Beach, Busan. As I said, I was super freezing but luckily the photo was nice haha)

 

P.S. I’m still working on my term paper. Not sure if I can keep my promise to keep my blog updating twice a month for this month, yet I’ll try my best.

 

Overthinking

“Over-planning kills the magic.”

I saw this quote on Pinterest several months ago. It did gave me a great punch on my face so many times. I guess it would still remind me to calm myself down and stop being too panic.

 

The first notebook I received as gift was when I was in grade 5. My mom gave me as a gift and told me she thought it’s time for me to learn how to organize my to-do list. Starting from that time, I get to be addicted to planning habit.

My planning habit started with homework, my meeting schedule, my study timetable, and so on. It’s normal for almost everyone to plan this. But the meaning of getting addicted is that I started to plan every small little actions at that moment. At this moment, I’ll finish this. After this, I’m going to do that, and that, and that. Until I reach the point that I feel like I live my life by running after my schedule.

Nowadays, I’m trying to get rid of this habit. Once in a while, it keeps coming back and forth. But so far, I’m getting better bit by bit.

 

Yet, neither this crazy catching my to-do list habit, its side effect is not really pleasant either. I always imagine everything in advance and that drives me crazier.

Since I do not stop myself only with imagination but I also take action to prevent whatever my over-thinking habit brings me to, I sometimes end up regretting with my decision in the past.

Only because I feel panic, sometimes I do close the doors that would bring me to experience something new, something that might not be as bad or as scary as I had imagined by myself. There were so many times I found out that reality is much more better or even nicer than I had thought. But due to those negative imagination and over-thinking habit, I had already decided to close the door even before that reality comes to knock on my door.

 

One thing I like about studying social science is that we do not rely on only one side of the fact. Good social science scholars suppose to investigate the thing happens in our society from various perspectives so that they can come up with the best solutions for any social problems we are facing.

This really teaches me to take time when I get to make new friends, or know new people. Within one person, you might find some kind of habit or personality that you cannot stand at all. Still, there might be some great parts of him or her, waiting for you to discover.

 

I do guess, not only with my term papers, also with my decision in real life I need to be braver to experience new things. Good or bad, it depends on how you look at it and I should not let anyone’s word judge the future that has not arrived.

Who knows it might be way more better than you’d imagined?

 

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(This photo was taken last year in Busan, my fast and furious trip that I had decided to join without thinking carefully. Though it came with burden of doing report, fortunately the trip was so nice and it turned out to be one of my unforgettable trips).

Failure

Everyone gets his or her own fear, depending on what kind of experience that he or she’s got before in the past. It could be something so simple or complicated.

But when we talk about fear, we cannot really compare if that fear is that simple. Because everyone perceives in different way. We, thus, shouldn’t make fun of it. No matter how small it is in our eyes.

 

Since I was young, my biggest fear so far, I guess it’s failure. Not because I’ve never failed before, but because I’m too competitive.

When I was young, I always wanted to be the greatest. If I got to compete, I wanted to be the winner. Not the second, not the third, but the first one.

Yet, the more I grow older, the more I know about the world. The word ‘number one forever’ doesn’t exist. Today, you might be the winner, you might be number one. But new generation keeps coming. Everyday someone will break the record and the new record will also replaced by the newcomer, and this cycle will not stop.

 

Realizing that truth, I’ve changed my mind. Instead of competing with the others, I get to compete with the closest one, myself.

I was told and I’m also the one who keep telling myself that competing with yourself makes no harm. I equate competing with myself, beating my own record as a progress. Everyday you see new progress, and then you satisfy with yourself.

Well, I’m about to slip out from my main topic again. I’m not trying to say that competing with your own self, especially yourself in the past, is the wrong thing. Everyone surely wants to be better than him/herself in the past, and nothing’s wrong with it.

Just only in my case, I’m too competitive with myself until I’m afraid of getting to be fail. Until I realize that though I’m getting to be better person as I hope, I forget one important truth.

I’m still human and it’s normal for human to be failed.

Failure is one part of getting old and it’s one part to learn from yourself in the past. Failure shouldn’t be considered as a scar but as a teacher. Because I’m not really smart person, sometimes I might repeat the same failure. But that’s nothing to blame yourself. You just need to get up and continue again.

As some Japanese idiom said, “You fail 7 times, you get up 8 times.”

 

If your failure will not cause the end of the world, don’t be too afraid to fail and move on.

 

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(On the way to Nagasaki, Japan with my family 2 years also)

ps. Master’s life is way more hectic than I had expected. I did need a lot of time to adapt myself with this pace. I’m trying my best not to skip writing and reading.