Whenever something hard happens in my life, the very first person I always turn to is my mom.
She’s one of the best ideal mom so far. She’s always there, standing by me with good advice, her warm kiss and hug.
Mostly, she always helps me trying to figure out the way to solve the problems. Yet with some kind of problems, she only can give me some advice.
One of the best advice for almost every problem so far is just wait and let the time heal you.
At very first moment that you heard this advice, deep inside you would like to argue and choose to take some action instead because you feel like to follow this advice sounds so desperate. Maybe not for everyone, but I am that type of person.
I like to take action. I feel more secured to make sure that it would be fine in the end. I do plan a lot (some of my friends would say I’m A type more than B. Yet I’m B type hahaa). If possible, I would like to follow my plan but in case I really cannot, I’ll just let it go easily also (Well, this might be the part that you can consider me as B type).
Taking action makes me feel better with myself. I feel like at least I got to do something to prevent the bad effect that might happen in the future. Just to let the things go and wait for the time to heal, somehow is too slow and cannot guarantee any result in the end.
Yet mom’s advice is still correct. I found out that for cases, if you really do try your best already, just let it be and wait. Time will really help.
Especially, after this first month in graduate school.
I always consider myself not really smart one. Thus, in order to get the same result as those smart classmates, I need to work harder. I value hardworking people and their effort that they dedicate for the work, especially with their passion. That’d be super cool for me.
This mindset pushes me to aim higher and higher. I’m trying harder and harder. I go hard for myself. Good thing is I’m going further and further than I’d expected myself to be in the past. But there are always side effects of everything.
Though it pushed me to go further and aim for better, I always push myself into too much stress. It’s easy for me to get nervous. I always run with deadline. I lock myself with my work in my room and I won’t stop until it’s done. I always repeat this routine until some of my friends messaged me to make sure that I’m still alive and not fall sick yet.
After one year language program ended and my Master’s life starts, I tend to repeat this routine again. But studying in new language and being so far from home let me see the world from different point of view.
One night after working on my paper like crazy as always and chatting with one of my friend about work-life balance, I was showering and this idea just popped up.
It’s fine to push myself and aim for higher goal yet I really need to learn how to be happy with my life. Else, the day that I can really be happy would never come.
After showering, I was swiping my phone and browsing on my Facebook and Instagram. Some of the same scholarship fellows posted about their Friday night on SNS. Some went to sing in karaoke. Some went to cafe. Some went to eat out with friends. Some even went to amusement park. I did felt like someone knocking my head with big stick.
I kept asking myself: What am I doing now?
Well, it’s not about the ‘good life’ or ‘social media effect’. It’s just about sometimes you really need to know how to make balance with your life. It’s okay if you enjoy studying then just go studying. But if not, time to pull yourself out of your papers and find something that can help charging your energy to move on. My mom told me last time that no one can really teach you how to balance your work life and your happiness. Also everyone’s happiness is different.
After that night, I tried to give myself more time to get used and adapt to my Master’s life a bit by bit. I was too rush. Wanting to get to be really good since the beginning. I expect myself too high and in the end, only one thing that I got in return is stress that I was the only one who suffers with it alone.
As the time passes by, bit by bit I’m getting better bit by bit also. I start to feel enjoy reading my study materials, my lesson and I got my passionate to my major back after getting scared of it in Korean language version for awhile.
As mom said, sometimes you just need to be chilled and let the time reveal its own magic.;)
(This photo was taken around 2 years ago on board back from Singapore. It was taken during magic hour. So somehow it reminds me that magic would happen when you calmly wait until it comes by itself).